Cu Havi Dinari Havi Amici: When Money Becomes Your Identity
“What do you do?”
It sounds completely normal.
Sometimes it is one of the first things we want to know.
Maybe they are an entrepreneur. A mechanic. A teacher. A farmer. A doctor. Maybe they work in an office or have their own business.
And almost immediately, we start building an image of that person in our heads.
Not because we are necessarily judging them.
It is simply how society works.
Our work tells people where we spend most of our time. Our salary can suggest what kind of life we live. Our job title can even make us appear more or less important.
But there is an old Sicilian proverb:
“Cu havi dinari havi amici.”
Who has money has friends.
It sounds cynical.
But perhaps it is less cynical than it first appears.
When work becomes a name
For many people, work is no longer just something they do.
It becomes part of who they are.
A successful entrepreneur may introduce himself through his company.
Someone with a prestigious profession may carry that title everywhere.
A person with a high salary can easily become accustomed to being treated differently.
Then something unexpected happens.
They lose the job.
The company closes.
The business fails.
They retire.
The money disappears.
And suddenly, the question changes.
If work was such an important part of the person we believed we were, what happens when the work is gone?
There is nothing wrong with being proud of what we have built.
The strange part is when we begin to believe that what we have built is the same thing as who we are.
Money changes more than what we can buy
Money obviously gives us possibilities.
A larger house.
A better car.
More travel.
More comfort.
More choices.
But money can also change the way other people look at us.
A person who suddenly becomes successful may discover that invitations increase.
People who previously ignored them may become interested.
Old acquaintances may return.
New friendships may appear.
And sometimes it is difficult to understand whether people are interested in the person or in what the person now represents.
That is where the old proverb becomes uncomfortable.
“Cu havi dinari havi amici.”
Maybe it does not mean that every friendship is fake.
Maybe it simply describes something we would rather not admit.
People are often attracted to what they associate with success.
And success has many forms.
Money is only the most visible one.
The strange value of being busy
There is another detail that has become almost normal.
When someone says they are extremely busy, we often assume they are important.
“I have no time.”
“I work all day.”
“I have so many things to do.”
These sentences can sound like badges of honour.
Being busy has become a status symbol.
The person who has time to stop, walk, look around or simply do nothing can almost seem less successful.
But time is the one thing money cannot buy back.
A person can spend years building a business and then discover that the business has consumed the years they wanted to enjoy.
There is no contradiction in wanting success.
The contradiction appears when success becomes so important that everything else becomes secondary.
What happens when nobody is watching?
Perhaps the simplest way to look at this is to imagine removing everything visible.
No job title.
No expensive car.
No house.
No social media profile.
No bank account.
No achievements to mention.
Just the person.
Would we still recognise the same value?
And would the people around that person still be there?
There is no easy answer.
Maybe some would disappear.
Maybe others would remain.
Perhaps that is one of the few ways we discover which relationships were built around us and which ones were built around what we had.
The interesting thing is that we rarely ask ourselves this question while everything is going well.
We usually ask it only after something changes.
Maybe the real measure is something else
There is nothing wrong with wanting money.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a successful career, a bigger house or a better life.
Money can solve real problems.
Work can give dignity, independence and freedom.
The problem begins when these things stop being tools and become measurements of human worth.
A person can earn little and still have a rich life.
Another can earn millions and still feel that something is missing.
From the outside, we cannot always tell the difference.
Maybe that is the point.
We spend a lot of time trying to understand what other people have.
Perhaps we spend much less time asking what remains when those things are taken away.
“Cu havi dinari havi amici.”
Maybe the old proverb was not only talking about money.
Maybe it was asking a much older question:
If everything that makes us look successful disappeared tomorrow, who would still be standing beside us?
For more reflections on everyday life, freedom and the things we usually take for granted, visit www.signorcarretto.com.
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